By Noah Henry • August 08, 2013
You’re fed up with exhaustive exercise regiments and painful diets. You’ve seen no results and you want nothing more than to throw your gym card in the trash. The Battle of the Bulge can be eternally tragic, full of disappointments and diminishing hope. No one deserves to dedicate significant time and energy to a cause that yields no dividends.
Are there alternative methods to lose weight that don’t involve spending mounds of cash or torturing yourself at the gym?
Chug water before meals.This is a simple appetite control method. Studies have shown that drinking 16 oz. of water before meals can force you to eat 75 to 90 fewer calories. Obviously, this is a result of having a stomach full of a substance that contains zero calories. It’s free and easy and delightfully effective.
Sleep in a cold room. A cold room forces your body to heat itself up for hours, thus burning more calories to stay warm. Opening a window or turning up the AC before bed will allow science to take over and help you lose weight. According to a University of Utah study, the basal metabolic rate increases by inhaling cold air and warming skin exposed to the cold. Perhaps the laziest way to lose weight in the world, sleeping in a chilly environment does indeed do wonders.
Learn how to breathe. Did you know that 9 out of 10 people don’t reach their oxygen intake potential? Fat is oxidized through increased oxygen consumption, which makes good ol’ O2 a critical component to boost metabolism. There are many ways to increase your oxygen-sucking prowess, most effectively by using the Breathslim System. Breathslim actually trains your lungs to inhale more voluminously, increasing your lung capacity by as much as 20 percent. You can use Breathslim in your car, at work, or in front of the TV; and right now you can purchase the Breathslim Health & Wellness System for 10% off.
Buy smaller plates. No really, this works. Brian Wansink, winner of the 2007 Ig Nobel Prize for Nutrition, ran a study at Cornell University that showed people who ate with oversized plates consumed 31 percent more. The size of the serving bowl, plate or package biases how much a person serves himself. It has a lot to do with the Delboeuf illusion, which shows that two circles of identical size (one surrounded with a larger circle) seem different. Time to hit Target for some baby plates!
Go on the Toothpaste Diet. This is a popular method for halting cravings. When you’re finished with a meal, go straight to brushing your teeth. This does two things—it makes you want to stop eating after a minty fresh clean, and it gives your body time to register you’ve eaten enough. Also, if you’re trying to cut out sugary snacks, the taste of toothpaste tricks your mouth into thinking you’ve eaten something sweet.
Turn off temptation. Commonly referred to as food porn, The Food Network is awesomely entertaining but it makes people run straight to the refrigerator. If you’re trying to lose weight, it’s best to shut it off for a while. Bid adieu to Guy Fieri and Gordon Ramsay.
Just dance. Although it’s not a lazy activity by any means, dancing frequently is a fun and effective way to shed pounds. Ever wondered why dancing makes you happy? It releases endorphins, makes you sweat, and decreases your inhibitions. Just Dance—the Xbox series—rewards you a thousand points every three songs you dance to, which equals 238 calories lost. Fun? Check. Healthy? Check. Go to GameStop and receive $20 off select games with code SAVER.
Noah Henry Noah Henry is an amateur movie critic, foodie, bowler, and beer reviewer. But he's no amateur when it comes to saving money, so listen up!